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Not Your Typical Data Driver Column

Dear ‹FirstName>,

In these trying times you occasionally just need to take a break from the business of data and have a good laugh. Which is what I did when I received the following e-mail, purportedly from a real data-related vendor. I'll protect that innocent by anonymizing the company/personal details in italics, but otherwise the message is presented as received:

Dear ‹FirstName›,

We're ‹insert emotion› to announce our research is nearly complete. In just a few ‹random time duration›, we'll be announcing the new Company Name Telepathy Source and Destination, allowing the everyday man and woman to read minds into an SSIS data stream.

Imagine being able to:

Read the entire encyclopedia in a matter of minutes

Output your wife's thoughts to find out how she really feels

Learn a new skill in seconds like Neo from the Matrix

Over the past week we've run a contest to see who can be the first to view this amazing research and I'm happy to announce that Person's Name is our winner. If you are Person's Name, please click the below link to see our research. If you are not Person's First Name, please do not click below. We operate solely on the honor system at Company Name.

Person's Name Click Here

‹Emotional Stub›,

CEO's Name, Founder of Company Name

So, I don't know if it was meant to harvest contact information or install malware or what, but it certainly provided some much-needed ‹insert pleasant emotion› to the Data Driver. What's the clumsiest troll you've ever received? Comment here or drop me a line.

Posted by David Ramel on 10/05/2011 at 1:15 PM


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